September 20, 2010: Cooking A Crock Pot of Stew On a Rainy Day In YVR, Smells Yummy

The Therapy of Chopping, Hacking, Peeling, Slicing and Dicing

It was a deaf dark and strumpet stormy morning in YVR. I glanced at my worn bomber jacket and realized it would not be a good an optimum day for flying chandelles or lazy eights. [1] Too much turmoil of turbulence in the sky. Thus, the Red Baroness shall flaunt flauntingly for another day. The morning drowsed. However, at 06:16 I determined I could not remain a lazy beast. Also the harshness of rain in gutter was sounding a bit worrisome.

The A.M. rain was adequate enough I made time to line up all stuffed toys two-by-two in duets of twosomes.

After that chortling chore, I realised I would be in-bound rainbound housebound. What to do? Well, I have yet to score 30,000 points at Word Mojo and, each hobby, passion or activity I glanced upon looked so boring I almost needed oxygen due to the size of yawns my jowls and jaws would permit.

For some reason the idea of pulling the crock pot off of the lower shelf of the hand-carved marble kitchen cabinet, inlaid with semi-precious jade and rubies, seemed a good whizbang idea. This, of course, required cleansening dishes acquired last century, which meant adding a row of knitting to a Christmas-present-in-process. The knitting meant I recalled when I was owned by a cat (whom I still miss) and the uprising cost of the commodity of shorn sheep bits for knitting projects which seem almost always never quite finished.

‘scusa, the landline is ringing.

Ah-hem. My train of thought is unravelling.

Thus, stew. I used beef, a cheap cheapest cut that should soften after hours of pot simmering. I hesitated to use item recommended by Mr. Jonathon Swift. [2] [3] I confess, unabashedly, that I find cooking to be a soothing activity. There is a rhythymic rhombic rhythmic meditation in the motions of peeling, slicing, dicing, chopping and thwacking. The motions remind of Tai Chi sessions I attended once upon a time when my limbs were more bendable and flexible. Now, at times, my body acts like a Barbie before her body had in-built flexibility. Ah, Barbie what we made you do. ‘scusa.

Just stirring the pot.

Stew concocting can be quite pleasurable, the activity sets a mind to wandering about this-and/or-that in a lulling kind of fashion as life is reviewed in a review of events and moments. For examples: When did I make a first stew? (Well, gee I dunno). Who taught me to make stew? (Well, gee I dunno). Should I have used up the lamb shank? (Well, maybe). When did the polo ponies get an ipaddock?

‘scusa.

© September, 2010. S. Calliou. 20 September, 2010-09-20

From Blue Dog Studio

Graphic From Microsoft Clipart Downloads

[1] To manage a chandelle, I would recommend using the NASA site re. flight manoeuvres. To practice, please click IWouldSoDoDat. To those with stronger stomachs, there is the Three Turn Spin. To give it a go, please click, TurnToScale.

[2] Mr. Swift, a satirical writer (now deceased), reports of serious assurance by a ‘very knowing American’ that a ‘young’ and ‘healthy child’, who has is about one year aged, can be a ‘wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked or boiled.’ School is back in session in YVR and thus stray children are more difficult to acquire as the neighbourhood playground is denuded of kidlets. Instead, biochild-units are fully supervised by teacher-units, also known as bots, who use laser sharp eyes and chalkboard erasers to efficiently provide tax-funded classroom management. There are problems with the fricassee-ing of kidlets. They can be noisesome as lowered into the flames: Best to wear ear muffs. I do digress.

[3] I decided against purloo as was out of rice. This southern U.S. chicken recipe can scrumptious.

TTFN

Technorati Tags: beef stew,stew,stewing,rainy day cooking,slow cooking,crock pot cooking,slow cooker,cooking as therapy,therapeutic cooking,humor,humour,funny maybe

Courage of the Wannabe Decorator: A Smart Fridge? Smarter Than Moi?

The Liebherr Refrigerator and Zoned Food Care

Once upon a time I was house proud. Less so now. Rheumatoid arthritis inhibits the free flow of tossing furniture, paint and wallpaper about in a madness of renoelation; easier to re-do a blog outpost. Yet I sometimes graze home fashion magazines.

In Dwell magazine (July and August of 2010) at page 40 I studied an advertisement for a Liebherr fridge. By study, I mean I did require time to adequately understand the X-pense for an item common to a kitchen. The non-shaggy beast is massive, X-ceeding any appliance that ever graced our home in the days before the first Space Walk and Mr. Jackson's Moon Walk.

The cubic footage would hog current kitchen I use for the engineering of blueberry pies, pizzas, summer potatoe salads and IV-coffee fixes. The fridge is not a delicate, frail item but resembles more a 2-tonne truck. To give adequate view of the advertised fridge, the production people had to locate a kitchen half the size of Manitoba, Canada. My thoughts on the kitchen? Another post, perhaps.

I needed to read to comprehend that this appliance is a 'zoned fridge' because one does not want the wine at the same temperature as the lettuce. Yes, that could be a disaster, especially when attempting to find adequate room for leftover Mac-and-Cheese, an unidentified lunch meat and two boiled eggs too many for potatoe salad. However, the idea of a zoned fridge is tempting. Does it, perhaps, have a zone and setting for the chilling of panty hose on an overheated summer day when one must attend a rather formal affair? Will there be safe storage for the collection of hats?

The fridge is a cornucopia of foods and beverages on display, with prominent view of the promise of slimming meals. I realise that the low-cal food stuffs but promise and it is I who must organise a fast.

There is more text. This ‘smart’ fridge will create 'ideal conditions' for all those fruits, veggies and vitamins. O!Grated!Tree!Bark! my fridge has been dumbed down. All that is needed are shellacked labels that state: Happy Put The Lettuce Here or Happy Put The Lemonade Here. This fridge illustrates the wizardry of contemporary comfort and food security yet I’m thinking, truly this is -

‘scusa, I note the polo ponies are being rather quiet as they examine a new issue of Horse and Hounds.

© July, 2010. Sharilyn Calliou. 30 July, 2010.

From Blue Dog Studio

Graphic From Microsoft Clipart Downloads

Technorati Tags: refrigerators,energy conservation,smart appliances,humor,humour,funny maybe

Inner Adult/Inner Child, A Graphic Essay

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Inner Child

 

Alternatives to Costs of Keeping People Alive: Weekend Security Spending For BBQ Estimated @ About $20.00

Versus Canada’s Near To One Billion $ for G8 and G20 2010 Global Summits

Vic Towes, Canada’s Public Security Minister, raves, that the price tag for global summits are ‘clearly an expensive proposition’ due to the ‘medium security threat’, with ‘responsibility to ensure the security of the heads of state who come to Canada.’ [1] Blogging ‘bout the billion to cover security costs for 2010 G8 & G20 summits may be redundant; however, I need to expel, utter, vent. I’m just glad this is ‘medium’ and not a more serious degree of threat.

Global citizens live in times of lawlessness where life is as cheap as the cost of a bullet. A.M.’s news bleats that this hyper-security consciousness is a must as rockets and suicide attackers disrupt a peace assembly being held in Kabul, Afghanistan. Pres. Karzia’s speech was interrupted by a ‘rocket that exploded nearby and by an exchange of gunfire, prompting Mr. Karzai to tell his audience not to worry.’ [2] [3]

Wut me worry? Thus, I do not argue against need for security measures, including food tasters for poisons and billions of footage of barbed wire. However, globally escalating costs bug me. These funds might be re-directed to – well, gee, I’m gonna go wild here – schools, hospitals, libraries, homelessness, disabled persons, hunger, public art, 2010 Olympic Red Mittens for everyone and oil spill fix-it fiascos. [4]

Canada, hence Canadians, may be generous to a fault here with offer to hostess not one but two G-summits. With this 2-for-1 the security costs increased from a paltry $179,000,000.00 (Canadian or $1,178,464,494.69 China Yuan Renminbi with exchange @ 1 CNY = 0.151893 CAD) to $1 billion. [5] I’m all for security. I watch neighbours like a hawk on look-out for careless mice romping in a children’s playground at dusk. Nothing gets by assorted older persons in this community. Why just Tuesday the neigh-bourhood was adither at how Ms. ‘X’ had slashed the tires of her ex . . .. [6]

I propose 3 alternatives to the burgeoning ballooning costs of keeping World Leaders safe at international pow wows:

(1) Given technology available via webcams, Skype, blogging, electronic file sharing, email and conference calls, I vote all the World Leaders stay home and talk/visit and/or chat (or twitter and tweet) electronically. This way the at-home costs of security are already in someone else’s budget and no one country is on the hook for fearfulness, causing one Canadian MP to query in the Canadian House of Commons: ‘Is it fear that has driven the government to take hundreds of times the cost of other countries for this [G8/20 summits], and there is no other word for it, boondoggle? Security will amount to $1 billion.’ [7] [8]

(2) Send less expensive ppl to guard at international events. Rather than risk security breaches and possible death of World Leaders, I think that look-alikes could be flown hither-and-thither for what fun might it be to attack a group of stand-ins? In this manner, World Leaders can stay home and deal with issues of health, education, potholes and BP fix-it oil spill fiascos – which are more a global threat than hideous (and always expensive) public art. [9]

(3) Cost share summits. Whether two or more gather in the name of global tête-a-tetes the costs of food, linens, photocopying, security and public art should be divided equally using the ‘going Dutch’ method of restaurant bills. I mean no offense to persons of Holland but use a colloquialism in use in Canada to indicate equal sharing. With this method securely in place I firmly believe that countries might consider bringing along their own snacks, pillows for pillow fights, rolls of barbed wire and soft drinks.

These are just sketches of ideas but costs of security are too starkly drawn. We have to consider different methods to manage necessary security of persons to conduct global business without boarding at the largesse of whatever feudal Lord/Lady hosts.

© June, 2010. Sharilyn Calliou, 2-3 June, 2010, with some revisions at 1 August, 2010. All Rights Reserved

From Blue Dog Studio

Graphic From Microsoft Clipart Downloads

ENDNOTES

[1] Public Safety Minister, Canada, Mr. V. Towes quoted in: Raj, A. (30 May, 2010, 19:57). ‘Security costs expensive, but necessary: Toews.’ Toronto Sun. Accessed online 2 June, 2010 @ expensivesecurity

[2] Rubin, A. & R. Nordland. (2 June, 2010). ‘Taliban attacks shake Afghan peace gathering.’ New York Times. Accessed online 2 June, 2010 @ notpeacefulgathering

[3] Er, this was a gathering to discuss a process of reconciliation but I guess the attackers missed that press release.

[4] I have yet to blog BP due to seizures of irrationality which cause brain freeze, leaving me unable to speak with humour and/or compassion and/or wisdom. The fact of this . . . ‘scusa, brain freeze. John Stewart’s ‘The Spilling Fields’ seems apt skewering. Also appreciate Pres. Obama’s bill for environmental services, in amount of $69 million (US). Full story at lawyerstellall which is a news feed for lawyers. At 1 August, 2010, this link not operative. Too bad, was informative feed.

[5] I thank http://www.xe.com/ - the world’s favourite currency site – for their accessible tools to convert Canadian dollars into less frightening amounts of moohoolahola.

[6] O!Bazooka!Joe! I am almost guilty of a security breach re. neighbourhood.

[7] MP, Mr. W. Marston (Hamilton East – Stoney Creek, New Democratic Party) speaking to the House of Commons (Canada) 31 May, 2010 at 12:10). Hansard discussion @ HansardYak

[8] Dear MP Marston, I propose it is not fear but reality; hence, I think Canada should downgrade its generosity and just attend as a ‘guest’.

[9] Ah, who can forget the multi-million dollar pieces of public art Canada has subjected her subjects to throughout a vast landscape? For example, Mr. Barnett Newman’s $1.8 million Voices of Fire? Forgotten the two-colour stripe thingey? See: Geddes, J. (21 January, 2010, 09:40). ‘Voices of fire: Are we over this yet?’ Accessed 2 June, 2010 @ http://www2.macleans.ca/2010/01/21/are-we-over-this-yet/

[10] Misc. endnote: A self-quiz for Canadian MPs backbenchers who prefer not to knit. Please click HeyIKnowThisOne

TTFN

Technorati Tags: global security costs,G8 security costs Toronto,G20 security costs Canada,alternative security measures,overspending on security,costs of security,costs of politics,surveillance,the cost of keeping things peaceful,humor,humour,funny maybe

A Savings of One Percent. Earth Hour In YVR, Home of the Green Olympics

To 'Conserve' There are no graphics with today's post.

Whom Is Kidding Whom About Whose Energy Awareness?

I regret I shall be deceased and/or in cryogenic suspension when cultural anthropologists locate the ‘buzz’ about the initiative known as Earth Hour. [1] [2] Multiple commentaries will, without doubt, be written with blueberry juice ink upon hunks of salvaged drywall in attempt to describe early activity of the 2100s to pay homage to energy conservation.

Yesterday YVR is reported to have reduced energy consumping by one percent. One percent of what has not been e-numeral-ated for us couch potatoe pies. One percent for one hour is like so lame a three-legged camel could run faster through the labyrinth at Hampton Court. [3]

http://www.hrp.org.uk/HamptonCourtPalace/WhatsOn/maze.aspx

I do not wish to demean global do-goodness but this annual fromage-du-energy-reduction is starting to smell, er, like something that is not too good and, well, smellyish. Why not get brave and go Earth 2.07 hours?

I realize I was born so last century in pre-Avatar times. However, even when I was growing up parents coached on the wastefulness of lights left blazing like the deepest reaches of Hell. My parents could be quite descriptive. Thermostats were turned down so low at night (once we got one) that it was warmer to sleep outside in snow banks.

Now it is the next century the rantation of energy conservation approachette a zone beyond absurdity. The gentle tones of energy conservation battle with the blare to promote the newest gimmicks (wireless or not) to use greater amounts of energy. Front-and-center the hoo-hah-hah for 3-D televisions at-home with $200.00 to $400.00 (Canadian dollars) for specialty eyewear or the newest iPad or the whatever.

It is not enuff to have one television or computer in a home but necessary to individualize ownership. How can anyone simultaneously maintain consumerismo and reduce energy consumption? This type of irrationality makes me want to turn on all appliances and bake for 24 hours. ‘scusa…just have to find the remote for the bread maker.

No that’s the one for the pencil sharpener.

Oh, here’s the one for the pre-cable television.

Well, gee, ‘how ‘bout that . . . the hair blower thingey has it’s own remote.

Wow! Who knew the radio/CD combo mini-stereo even had a remote. Well, gee, I dunno.

‘scusa must run to Wally Mart for a truckload of batteries. Batteries are good because you do not have to plug them into a wall socket and consumer electricity. When done with batteries, just toss into Mother Earth Salad for future anthropological excavations.

© Sharilyn Calliou 29 March 2010 All Rights Reserved Perpetually

From Blue Dog Studio

Graphic From Microsoft Clipart Downloads

ENDNOTES

[1] Earth Hour is a sixty minute fest of globally connected consciousness when persons and even corporations turn off lights and such to save gigjoules. After the hour, every thing goes back to normal levels of abnormal consumption. Info? Please click, 60Minutes.

http://www.earthhour.org/

[2] For cryogenic suspensation I am requesting to be laid out like Ophelia amidst a stream of running blueberry coloured H2O. I haven’t quite selected the hat but it will have a veil – probably with a pattern of chemical formulae for cryogenic type substances thingeys. I want to be wearing red heels and stockings with the line up the back. I got near-to-giddy today as I sketched ideas for my cryo-wardrobe. Not sure about gloves as am leaning towards must-have consumer purchase of 2010 Olympic Red Mittens for Special Collections. This is a case where I must toss anti-materialism aside and buy.

[3] There are 8760 hours in a year so one hour is like .01141552511415525 of human consciousness in a year. It is a global activity that probably consumes more hours and gigglewatts of energy to promote and to stage than to just leave it alone. I do not wish to sound sullen or peevish but confess to chuckling bemusement.

TTFN

Technorati Tags: tinged with irony,Earth Hour 2010,Earth Hour 2009,environmental awareness,environmentalism,resource conservation,conservationism,humor,humour,humourous,funny maybe