Courage of the Wannabe Decorator: A Smart Fridge? Smarter Than Moi?

The Liebherr Refrigerator and Zoned Food Care

Once upon a time I was house proud. Less so now. Rheumatoid arthritis inhibits the free flow of tossing furniture, paint and wallpaper about in a madness of renoelation; easier to re-do a blog outpost. Yet I sometimes graze home fashion magazines.

In Dwell magazine (July and August of 2010) at page 40 I studied an advertisement for a Liebherr fridge. By study, I mean I did require time to adequately understand the X-pense for an item common to a kitchen. The non-shaggy beast is massive, X-ceeding any appliance that ever graced our home in the days before the first Space Walk and Mr. Jackson's Moon Walk.

The cubic footage would hog current kitchen I use for the engineering of blueberry pies, pizzas, summer potatoe salads and IV-coffee fixes. The fridge is not a delicate, frail item but resembles more a 2-tonne truck. To give adequate view of the advertised fridge, the production people had to locate a kitchen half the size of Manitoba, Canada. My thoughts on the kitchen? Another post, perhaps.

I needed to read to comprehend that this appliance is a 'zoned fridge' because one does not want the wine at the same temperature as the lettuce. Yes, that could be a disaster, especially when attempting to find adequate room for leftover Mac-and-Cheese, an unidentified lunch meat and two boiled eggs too many for potatoe salad. However, the idea of a zoned fridge is tempting. Does it, perhaps, have a zone and setting for the chilling of panty hose on an overheated summer day when one must attend a rather formal affair? Will there be safe storage for the collection of hats?

The fridge is a cornucopia of foods and beverages on display, with prominent view of the promise of slimming meals. I realise that the low-cal food stuffs but promise and it is I who must organise a fast.

There is more text. This ‘smart’ fridge will create 'ideal conditions' for all those fruits, veggies and vitamins. O!Grated!Tree!Bark! my fridge has been dumbed down. All that is needed are shellacked labels that state: Happy Put The Lettuce Here or Happy Put The Lemonade Here. This fridge illustrates the wizardry of contemporary comfort and food security yet I’m thinking, truly this is -

‘scusa, I note the polo ponies are being rather quiet as they examine a new issue of Horse and Hounds.

© July, 2010. Sharilyn Calliou. 30 July, 2010.

From Blue Dog Studio

Graphic From Microsoft Clipart Downloads

Technorati Tags: refrigerators,energy conservation,smart appliances,humor,humour,funny maybe

A Savings of One Percent. Earth Hour In YVR, Home of the Green Olympics

To 'Conserve' There are no graphics with today's post.

Whom Is Kidding Whom About Whose Energy Awareness?

I regret I shall be deceased and/or in cryogenic suspension when cultural anthropologists locate the ‘buzz’ about the initiative known as Earth Hour. [1] [2] Multiple commentaries will, without doubt, be written with blueberry juice ink upon hunks of salvaged drywall in attempt to describe early activity of the 2100s to pay homage to energy conservation.

Yesterday YVR is reported to have reduced energy consumping by one percent. One percent of what has not been e-numeral-ated for us couch potatoe pies. One percent for one hour is like so lame a three-legged camel could run faster through the labyrinth at Hampton Court. [3]

http://www.hrp.org.uk/HamptonCourtPalace/WhatsOn/maze.aspx

I do not wish to demean global do-goodness but this annual fromage-du-energy-reduction is starting to smell, er, like something that is not too good and, well, smellyish. Why not get brave and go Earth 2.07 hours?

I realize I was born so last century in pre-Avatar times. However, even when I was growing up parents coached on the wastefulness of lights left blazing like the deepest reaches of Hell. My parents could be quite descriptive. Thermostats were turned down so low at night (once we got one) that it was warmer to sleep outside in snow banks.

Now it is the next century the rantation of energy conservation approachette a zone beyond absurdity. The gentle tones of energy conservation battle with the blare to promote the newest gimmicks (wireless or not) to use greater amounts of energy. Front-and-center the hoo-hah-hah for 3-D televisions at-home with $200.00 to $400.00 (Canadian dollars) for specialty eyewear or the newest iPad or the whatever.

It is not enuff to have one television or computer in a home but necessary to individualize ownership. How can anyone simultaneously maintain consumerismo and reduce energy consumption? This type of irrationality makes me want to turn on all appliances and bake for 24 hours. ‘scusa…just have to find the remote for the bread maker.

No that’s the one for the pencil sharpener.

Oh, here’s the one for the pre-cable television.

Well, gee, ‘how ‘bout that . . . the hair blower thingey has it’s own remote.

Wow! Who knew the radio/CD combo mini-stereo even had a remote. Well, gee, I dunno.

‘scusa must run to Wally Mart for a truckload of batteries. Batteries are good because you do not have to plug them into a wall socket and consumer electricity. When done with batteries, just toss into Mother Earth Salad for future anthropological excavations.

© Sharilyn Calliou 29 March 2010 All Rights Reserved Perpetually

From Blue Dog Studio

Graphic From Microsoft Clipart Downloads

ENDNOTES

[1] Earth Hour is a sixty minute fest of globally connected consciousness when persons and even corporations turn off lights and such to save gigjoules. After the hour, every thing goes back to normal levels of abnormal consumption. Info? Please click, 60Minutes.

http://www.earthhour.org/

[2] For cryogenic suspensation I am requesting to be laid out like Ophelia amidst a stream of running blueberry coloured H2O. I haven’t quite selected the hat but it will have a veil – probably with a pattern of chemical formulae for cryogenic type substances thingeys. I want to be wearing red heels and stockings with the line up the back. I got near-to-giddy today as I sketched ideas for my cryo-wardrobe. Not sure about gloves as am leaning towards must-have consumer purchase of 2010 Olympic Red Mittens for Special Collections. This is a case where I must toss anti-materialism aside and buy.

[3] There are 8760 hours in a year so one hour is like .01141552511415525 of human consciousness in a year. It is a global activity that probably consumes more hours and gigglewatts of energy to promote and to stage than to just leave it alone. I do not wish to sound sullen or peevish but confess to chuckling bemusement.

TTFN

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